My Testimony of How My Faith Was Confirmed

I thought I would share my testimony with you all. I have given a very similar testimony to a number of others.

Of course, I am ever in the pursuit of truth and do not believe I will ever arrive in this life, but this is what this pursuit of truth is really based on.

Buckle up!

I was on what I call a “Quest for Truth” when I considered myself an atheist. When I called myself an atheist, I got a thirst for knowledge. Since I have a mental illness and was on SSI, I had a lot of time on my hands as I am on disability. I devoted myself to learning all sorts of things. From neuroscience to Cantor and theories of infinity to Godel, to computer science stuff, you name it. When I started reading “Personality Types” by Carl Jung, even though Jung himself was an atheist, reading that book turned me into a pantheist. I saw the mind’s complexities, so I developed a theory. My theory was that the universe itself was a god. I believe that the universe itself was conscious. I had to answer the question, “What is the purpose of beings with agency and complex minds?” The answer I came up with was that the universe, as a conscious entity, decided to create beings with agency so that the universe could “discover itself” through these beings with agency. That was my working theory at the time, and on some level, it makes sense.

But on a hot August day on the 24th, 2018, after I was at my PC, I went outside. I was very anxious for some reason. I was out on the porch I got the sense that someone I knew earlier was out there and looking for me. He was a gang member. I should never have mixed up with that guy, which was a mistake. Anyways, after being very nervous for no reason, I returned to my PC because of this anxiety. I was only outside for a few minutes. When I returned outside a short time later, a heavy-set man with a dark complexion, wearing khakis, a white button-up shirt, and a bowtie, walked into my parent’s driveway, where I lived. He almost looked how a homeless person would dress up for a special occasion. The man’s name was Larry Emmanuel Morris. I later tried to find him in public records but couldn’t find anyone with that name and age (as he said he was about 54 years old at the time).

He was trying to tell me something about this little booklet he had. He had a very mild personality - not forceful at all. When we were talking, he told me I looked like a skateboarder. It brought up memories of when I was about 12-14 years old and had a skateboard. But I never could do many tricks because I didn’t practice very often. Also, there was this video that I think I had just watched in between the time I was outside. It was the music video for the song “Alive” by POD. The music video features a skateboarder who got his car T-boned by a bus, and the car flipped, but the guy came out with no damage after the fact. In my 20s, I had a similar car accident where I flipped my father’s car. When I flipped the car, I went off the curb and hit a big light post. After the police arrived, and I was given a ticket for reckless driving and a fine later to pay for the damages, the police officer said, “It’s a miracle you are alive. If you don’t believe in God, you really should.” After my conversation with Larry, I saw POD play on August 30, 2018. Before the show, I ran into the lead singer (Sonny) and told him about this experience.

Anyways, after the guy introduced his booklet, I said, “Sorry, I don’t have money for you, but I have prayer for you.” I still don’t know why I said that at the time. I was a pantheist, not a Christian or really a part of any religion. He said, “Prayer is good too.” We shook hands, and he walked away.

For some reason, I wanted to go on a walk to the place I would normally walk. I drove there in my van. The place I walk is a pond that has a path around it. It’s more like a figure 8 or an infinity symbol. One of the bodies of water split up by a bridge in the middle is a lot bigger than the other. It takes about 6-7 minutes to walk around the smaller loop around the body of water. If you walk around both bodies of water, it’s about a mile or so. So as I started walking around the smaller body of water, I recalled the handshake the guy gave me. I reflected on it, and I just started crying. His handshake was the most humble, honest, and authentic I have ever gotten from someone. I recall now that when I shook his hand, he said, “It’s nice to meet you, Jesse” (my name). I was hysterical when I was crying, and I was hoping I didn’t see anyone else on the path because that would have been really awkward to see someone weeping like I was. When I got to the first juncture on which way to go, whether to walk around the whole path or take the short path back to my car, I stood there for what seemed like forever but was actually probably no longer than a minute. I felt like the Holy Spirit was convicting me at that moment. I could either continue my walk or go the short way back home. I decided to take the short way home.

When I got in my van and drove home, I thought I had to see that man again. As I got close to my home again, I started to get anxious that I wouldn’t see him. After all, it had probably been about a half hour since he walked in my driveway, and it was unlikely that he would have stayed in the same place because he was on foot. My parents live on the opposite end of a more busy street where there is basically a square of road, and we are opposite the main road. It’s a closed-loop block. I drive down the first street perpendicular to the main road and the road my parent’s house is on. I turn the corner and pull into the driveway when I remember saying, “Where is he? He isn’t here.” I back up and go back the way I came. I drive down the main road and drive down the second perpendicular street to the loop where my parents live. I drive down the road and don’t know what I am doing, but I hope I see him somewhere. I see him coming out of one of the houses on that street. He was limping when walking down the steps. I actually found him! I ask myself where I should park, and I drive down a bit and park on the side of the road. When I saw him, I said, “I had to see you again.” I can’t remember his response to that. We start talking. He starts telling me about his life. He had many physical ailments, and he was telling me about them. My heart broke for him as he told me that, and I started sobbing. I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “You’re a good man.” I am sure my speech was unintelligible because I was crying so much. I remember when I did that, he said in a very peaceful, gentle way, “This is good.”

So we are standing in the street, and he starts telling me all these amazing things. For example, he recalls these two guys I used to hang out with, one of which I already mentioned. And he says, “One of them likes you, and one of them doesn’t.” The one who didn’t like me I was afraid of. None of my family members knew what I did with these guys. I was just afraid of this guy. I don’t know the details of that conversation about what he said about those two guys, but it was like he was prophecying about my innermost thoughts. He starts talking about the kingdom of heaven. He gives an example. He says something like, “Maybe you are driving down the road, and someone you don’t know sees the condition your vehicle is in, and they decide to give you a new vehicle. That’s how the kingdom of heaven works.” I didn’t plan this, but it dawns on me now that up until November 27, 2022, I was without a vehicle for over six months. It just so happens that someone I know gave me his old van after getting another one at no cost.

He also starts talking about Bible passages I had never heard before. He spoke of Ezekiel and the valley of dry bones, and I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, but I remember him asking me, “Are those your bones?” talking about the Vally of Dry Bones... Even though I am always learning, I was still lost in knowing much of theology until the latter portion of 2019. On April 12, 2019, one of my favorite albums of all time was released. The album cover of that album is a painting of the Valley of dry bones, seen here:

He said other remarkable things. As he spoke to me, I sat on the curb and listened to him talk. I recall seeing him speak and this beautiful blue sky in the background. I recall it was as if my spirit was being overflowed with glory. It was spiritually overwhelming. And so because of that, I was sitting down. Meanwhile, this man wasn’t under this spiritual heaviness and wasn’t sitting down despite this injury on his knee. He probably would have felt better sitting down, but it was like he had this duty to speak truthfully to me, so he stood up instead of sitting.

Remember what I said about that guy I was afraid of? There’s more to say about it. The man, Larry, said he had puss coming out of his knee. I couldn’t help but think that the guy I was afraid of had an encounter with Larry and hurt Larry’s knee. That’s just speculation but feels true to me for some reason. There’s another reason I think this, but I’ll say that later.

After talking for a while, Larry told me, “If you call yourself a Christian, you could be persecuted for your faith. Is it worth it?” And I said, “Yes, it’s worth it.” You see, I had called myself an atheist because I was afraid I would be persecuted for my faith if I said I was a Christian. So my unbelief in God was based on fear of persecution. At that moment, I realized I might have to suffer for my faith, but it would all be worth it in the end.

There was also some talk about certain things he was saying that deeply resonated with me. I recall telling him, “These suburban people don’t care about the truth. All they care about is their 401Ks and living a comfortable life. They don’t know what true faith is.” I remember telling him he was prophesying after I said that, and he said, “Well, look at what you are saying.”

At this time, I wanted to know about his booklet. I tried looking through it, but it didn’t make sense to me. It seemed to be a thing to get him to sell magazines or books or something like that. On the front, it said, “No donation required.” There were like these packages you could pick for him to sell or something. He wanted to sell 200 or something, but I am unsure. All you had to do was sign your name to support him. Since I didn’t get the whole number system, I wrote my name to support him. But I wrote down a number too, which no one else did from the other names that had been written down. As I was going to cross out my name, he said, “Don’t do that.” But it was too late, I had already made the decision to cross off the numbers. I still feel bad about that and don’t know what it means. There were packages you could choose that would cater to certain people, like magazines for fathers and sons or something like that.

At this point, I was sitting on the curb where this big white guy with a ponytail parks right next to the house Larry comes out of and drops off a big cardboard box in the house. At the time, I thought the big white guy was an angel dropping some spiritual thing off at the house. As the big white guy walks back, Larry starts conversing with the big guy, and they are talking super casually. I never caught what they said at all, though. Anyways, as I am witnessing this and seeing their exchange, out of nowhere, Larry answers a question I had but hadn’t verbalized at all whatsoever, and he says, “I’m not an angel.” I was about to ask him if he was an angle since I thought the big white guy was an angel and he answered my question before I could ask it like he was reading my mind.

After we talked for quite some time, probably a number of hours, I was spiritually exhausted, and Larry said, “Can we go in your van? My knee is bothering me. My knee has some puss coming out of it and is injured.” So I said, sure. When we were talking by my van, I said, “You are a prophet.” And he seems disappointed and says, “I'm a prophet.” Then he asks with a bit of excitement, “Big 'P' or small 'p'?" And I say, "The biggest." I didn't know what I was saying then, but there is a bible verse that basically says Jesus was the "big P prophet" that Israel was looking forward to. It says this in Deuteronomy 18:15, corresponding with John 6:14, among other verses.

At this point, he tells me that I am like King David. So we get in my van and are driving down the road, and I start smoking a cigar. At that point, Larry takes a pack of Newport cigarettes out of his pocket and aggressively puts it on the central part between the seats. (That's the same brand of cigarettes that the guy I said I was afraid of smokes and the other reason I think that guy hurt Larry, and Larry took his cigarettes.)

I offer him some food, and he says, "I don't need to eat, but if you make me food, I will eat it." I give him two choices of what to eat. They are both almost the same. I secretly want him to pick a certain one. After he analyzes the boxes for a moment, he points to the one I wanted him to pick. I didn't do anything different with the food, he just happened to pick the right one. When we got in the house, my father has his Bible on the counter, which I can’t remember seeing before and the Bible is opened to a passage about king David in the Psalms about David’s genealogy. So it seems that this was a sign of the prophecy he spoke about me being like David.

Sorry for this jumbled mess of thoughts. This man confirmed the Bible as the Word of God for me given all the scripture he spoke in our conversation. Given all the very unlikely things that happened in this exchange and because he quoted the Bible so much, I believed at that point that the Bible was the inspired Word of God. I then started studying theology and apologetics and have not deviated from my faith since that event. I'm just giving you the facts: the good, the bad, and the ugly. The rest is history; my faith was confirmed then and has been strong since that happened.