Coming Clean

My Christian brothers and sisters in Christ.

I am dealing with some things that I do not feel right about. I committed a sin today. It was that I was tempted to do this sin, and since I could not act on it right away, I waited until I could.

This makes me feel awful. I usually do not sin like this. Usually, my sins are spontaneous. I repented of my sin almost immediately after doing it. That said, the way I have been living my life, I know the Lord would not be happy with me.

I started thinking about the Lord not being happy with me when I watched this video where a person had a vision of Jesus. He could tell Jesus was not happy with him. I really tried to soak in what this individual was saying. He was emotionally distraught when he talked about seeing Jesus. He said Jesus was humble but very powerful. He made it seem as if he was sinning against Jesus and our Christ was not happy with the way he was living. Now I find myself in the same predicament.

I made a blog post some months ago about how Ravi Zacharias must have privately repented of his sin. I went on to say that this was probably not enough. No one upon Judgement Day is going to say, "Lord I don't deserve this" except the ones who are going to enter into the New Heavens and New Earth.

I have a variety of sins I commit on a regular basis - none of them are healthy. I want to live a better life, but I do not know how. All I can ask is for the Spirit to empower me to deny myself.

If you find yourself in a similar position as myself, all I can say is, "try again."

We often do not know how grievous our sin is. That's because Satan is a liar, a thief, and a murderer. If Adam knew the problems his sin would create, he would not have sinned. That's the sinister nature of sin. We act like it doesn't matter that much - that it's just a minor hiccup in our otherwise righteous lives. No, I am afraid sinning is the default and we can only fight our sin by the same power that rose Jesus from the dead.

I guess all I can say about this is to say, mourn over your sin. Regret your sin. But do not stay there. Keep striving for Holiness. Consecrate yourself to God and live as though today was your last.

Pray for me and my Sanctification.