A Life to Live

Life is so strange. One moment things seem to be going completely fine. The next moment feels like a complete disaster. That seems to be what I am going through right now. Things on the outside look the same, but on the inside, I feel this kind of inner turmoil that seems to come out of nowhere.

A lot of people are having problems. Covid has been a problem for everyone. No one seems to be able to talk about much else. Well, 2020 was definitely a game changer for many many people. Mental health problems were on the rise due to social isolation. Some people simply need to be around people more often than not and that was havoc for our more extroverted friends. People not being able to meet with each other was a real problem for a lot people.

At the time, this didn't bother me too much. I tend to be a lone wolf in terms of not needing to be around people very much. I spent a lot of my time during 2020 immersing myself in sound theological doctrine and it was generally a great time of growth for me. This might have been different if I was as extroverted as some others and suffered from not being about to be around people much.

So its appeared that my life was mostly going fine during 2020. But in January of 2021, I had a major mental health crisis. It seems things were effecting me, it just took a lot longer for me to feel it than most people. I have a diagnosis already so it's not surprising it eventually hit me.

But I do attribute some of this inner turmoil to my deep therapy sessions. I am working on stuff with my therapist and it's actually quite painful to deal with. I seemed to be stuffing all the political unrest stuff in my subconscious and it only started making its way out almost a year after everything started happening. My mental health has been all over the place since January, really.

I am just one story in a sea of novels being written by history. At some point, you have to come to grips with the fact that everyone seems to be dealing with something these days. And in my estimation, it's not going to get any better.

You might be hurting. You might be going through very difficult things - more difficult than the rest of us. Wherever you are in life, I'm a firm believer that there is always hope no matter what you seem to be facing. We've all been through a rough spot. I can't promise that circumstances will get better. At one point I would have said that things always get better with time. Now I think that is painting things looking through rose tinted glasses.

Now you might be wondering why I am just focusing on all the doom and gloom of reality rather than being positive about things. This is where I say, yes, the story of life for now and in the near future might look like more of a tragedy than a naive nursery rhyme, but I have some great news for you! The author of the book of life is none other than God Himself! A verse that comes to mind for these times is Colossians 1:16 "For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him."

I want to end by saying whatever tragedy you are living right now - whatever difficulties lie on the horizon - know this: God sees you; He knows what you are going through and sympathizes. Just because difficult things happen in our lives does not mean that God does not care. Sometimes God lets or even controls difficult circumstances so that God might be glorified through that tragedy. This is seen no more clearly than the shortest verse in the Bible. John 11:35 "Jesus Wept." (Read the entire story in John 11 for proper context of what this means specifically.)

Know that Jesus is not immune to your pain. He sees you. He knows you. He loves you. I can't promise for a happy ending for you in this life, but I can promise that if you are In Christ, all this pain is nothing but a momentary light affliction compared to the weight of eternal glory we will experience in the new heavens and new earth when Christ returns for his bride. I leave you with Apostle Peter's words which echo across time. 1 Peter 5:6, 7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."